Just how responsible are we for the words that come out of our mouths?
After all, we grew up being told that “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
That wasn’t true for Missouri teenager Megan Meier, who committed suicide after being told through a MySpace message that “the world would be better off without her.”
The sender of the message was supposedly a 16-year-old boy named Josh who Meier had been in comunication with over the social networking site. However, it turned out to be a cover for 49-year-old neighbor Lori Drew and an 18-year-old employee of hers.
Drew wanted to know if Meier was spreading rumors about her teenage daughter, a classmate of Meier’s. So she enlisted the help of her employee, Ashley Grills, to create a false profile on MySpace to try and trick Megan into telling her.
Instead, Meier, who was battling severe depression, killed herself after she thought the boy she had a cyber-crush on wanted her off the planet. The question is, can someone’s words, however mean-spirited, make someone responsible for another’s suicide?
That’s what a Los Angeles court is deliberating right now. Drew is not charged with homicide or manslaughter, but instead with conspiracy and accessing protected computers without authorization to obtain information for the purpose of inflicting emotional distress on Meier. If convicted on all counts, she will face up to 20 years in prison.
My first reaction to this case was abject disgust and a strong feeling Drew should rot in prison for the maximum time allowed. It has been reported that she knew Meier was taking depression medication. How can an adult, especially a mother, use such information to her advantage? Or at the very least, completely disregard it?
I do not think Drew wanted Megan to commit suicide, but the truth is, her cyber-bullying led her to it. And I feel a 49-year-old woman should know better.
As for Grills, her 18-year-old accomplice, well, she received immunity in exchange for her testimony. I have a problem with this. I do believe an 18-year-old cannot realize the consequences of her actions as fully as a middle-aged woman, but to let her off with no repercussions sends a dangerous message- work in cahoots with someone who should know better, testify against them and be home by dinnertime.
After careful consideration, I thought about some of the things I’ve said in my 23 years. Not all of it was nice. Some of it was downright awful. Should I be held responsible for my words if someone who is the recipient of my vitrol, however justified, is mentally unstable and chooses to commit an irreversible act? Think about yourseld. I’m sure you’ve said some things you regret in your lifetime. Who is truly to blame when something like this happens?
The sad part is that Meier was getting help. Her parents say she battled depression and body image issues for a long time and was finally improving. Drew used that knowledge to her advantage to toy with a child- and it destroyed a family. Not only is Megan dead, but the strain was too much for her parents’ marraige. Ron and Tina Meier not only filed for divorce, but also for restraining orders against each other.
Upon furthur consideration, I believe Drew must be punished for what she did, though I think 20 years is extreme. I don’t think she can be held directly responsible for Meier’s death. However, her gross disregard for Megan’s delicate condition and sadistic, immature plot to fool her online led to the worst consequences imaginable. I believe she should face 5-10 years in prison for what she did.
Just as importantly, this case can set the standard for cyber-bullying, a growing problem among all school-aged children these days. Hopefully people- kids and adults alike- will think twice about misrepresenting themselves or posting vitriolic comments online.
Because sometimes the click of a mouse and the clack of a space bar-not sticks and stones- can break more than bones.
Nikkee Porcaro
Production Assistant/Writer
